Love is...

Hard as I try, I can't remember when I first told someone I love them... Did I say it to my mom first? Or was it my dad?

What's even harder for me to figure out is how many times I have said it and to whom.

Maybe there is someone out there who remembers all this but I sure don't. You see LOVE is probably the most abused word in my vocabulary.

I declared love for men I used to date... then treated them unfairly and took them for granted.

I declared love for friends... then abandoned them for new ones.

I declared love for family members and rarely spoke to or thought about them.

And, of course, I declare undying love for my husband and son while deep in my heart I expect them to keep me secure and love me back...

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks that the quality of love I give is so miniscule that calling it subpar is a ridiculous exaggeration.

Lost and broken I went back to the Bible. I did not need to look hard...

"For God so loved the world the He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. " John 3:16

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Cor 13:4-8

Have I not spoken to others about God so they would come to know Him? Have I not sought after God for others? Have I not prayed and stood in faith with others for God? Have I not given of myself?

God was reading me like a book. And He spoke to me through His book.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Cor 13:1-3

Jesus loved and gave while we were sinners, before we even believed. The one thing missing from the whole definition of love is SELF. There was nothing in it that asked, "what about me?"

It was then with strange clarity, that I somehow understood how I need to love at this point - without any expectation of return.

More broken yet more free, I remembered Jesus' charge to His disciples on His last night with them before He was crucified, "Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another."

They saw His face. They heard His voice. They touched His hands. These were the very men who walked with Him, who were His friends. Yet He had to remind them to love one another. Jesus had to remind them as He reminds us because He knows what's in the heart of men.

Do I lose heart? It's my choice. And I decide not to. Because while I am charged to love without any expectation of return, my God who is faithful promised that those who receive Him and believe in His name, He gave the right to be children of God - children not born of natural descent or human decision or a husband's will but born of God. And while we don't know yet what we will become after all these work in our hearts are done, one thing we know is we shall be like Him...

Is it the Journey or the Destination?

Some say it doesn't matter how you get to where you're going as long as you get there. Some say it's all about the journey.

When God, through Moses, brought His people out of their bondage from Egypt, He said ".... I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God.... And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord."

He did not just set them free. He set them free for a purpose.

We know Christianity is about getting to heaven because after all, that is why Jesus died for us. But if this is all we think of Christianity, then we definitely missed the point.

Jesus set us free from sin not just so we can be with Him in heaven but also so we can claim our promise land. Jesus conquered death, so we can live a life that is full of hope and promise. We get to walk out our purposeful destiny. Each of us is called to do something beyond ourselves. Something that would impact generations to come; something that would leave a legacy; something that would satisfy our deepest need to affect this world we live in.

Is Christianity the destination? Or is it the journey?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11

song of my life...

free
ginny owens

turning molehills into mountains
making big deals out of small ones
bearing gifts as if they're burdens
this is how it's been
afraid of coming out of my shell
too many things i can't do too well
afrail i'll try hard and i'll fail
this is how it's been

'till the day You pounded on my heart's door
and You shouted joyfully,
"you're not a slave anymore!
you're free to dance!
forget about your two left feet
and you're free to sing!
even joyful noise is music to me
free to love...
cause i've given you My love and it's made you free
I have set you FREE"

my mind finds hard to believe that
You've become humanity
and changed the course of history
because You love me so...
my heart cannot understand why You'd
accept me as i am
but You say You've always had a plan
and that's all i need to know

so when i am consumed by what the world will say
it's then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains
you're free to dance!
forget about your two left feet
and you're free to sing!
even joyful noise is music to me
free to love...
cause i've given you My love and it's made you free
I have set you FREE"

EN.07

About a couple of decades ago, I remember imagining how great it must be for US residents to be able to attend the World Conference every three years... I remember thinking if I lived in the US, I would go... all the time...

I've been living in the US about 9 years now and have attended 2 World Conferences. The first one was a gift from God and the second one, nothing short of a miracle through a wonderful friend... I feel God has blessed me that I am now able to go... every time .

This year though, the World Conference is going to be in the Philippines on July 20-22 (http://en07.everynation.org/). It seems a bit ironic. And my heart wonders, will Darren and I make it this time? We need an even greater miracle this time...

God's hand is not too short. Whatever happens, I know He is with me.

Mandated...

CSI conversation between Grissom and a priest about a guy who killed the priest's best friend:
G: Will you forgive him?
P: That is Christ's mandate. You know what that means...
G: You have no choice.

"We always have a choice" sounds insubstantial. The reality is, if you believe in God, unforgiveness has consequences. "...if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Mt 6:14) It doesn't really sound like much of a choice, does it?

It's easy to recall moments when someone offended us. It's easy to remember how little by little, it began to eat us up inside. The bigger the offense, the more emotion we invest in anger, the more time we invest re-living the offensive act. As time passes, we become bitter. Bitterness becomes cynicism, which then leads to emotional isolation.

Bitterness does not let us move on. It's shows more in some than others. And some of us, walked in it for so long, we don't even recognize it anymore. It has become our lifestyle.

BUT if you have forgiven someone - actually forgiven fully and completely, its LIBERATING!

Until I forgave, I was carrying a big burden in my head and especially in my heart. When I learned to forgive, I began to live free. FREE! Nothing to hold against anyone. Nothing that God would hold against me. Because He promised "... if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Mt 6:14)

It would be wrong to say it was even remotely easy. It's a process - sometimes loooong one. BUT it IS a WORTHY process.

So more than just the consequences, forgiveness now has a whole new meaning. Forgiveness now means freedom. And we live from example for, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He did not only forgive, he made full restitution and total restoration of our inheritance available to us through the cross.

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." Jn 15:15

On to New Things

I've been reading a book called 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper. The book contains a lot more amazing truths than just the part described here. In fact, I am only picking a miniscule part of a thought from one of the chapters.

Don Piper was in a terrible accident. (You have to read the book! Trust me.) This accident took away a lot of his normal mobility like running, going down the stairs easily, etc. One of the things he was sad about was not being able to squat. You see, he is a pastor and kids love to bring him drawings or crafts. And he would always squat to talk to kids at their eye level. He later understood that not being able to do this is now what he calls his "new normal" and has to learn to accept it.

As christians, we learn to look up to God and set our eyes on God. We also learn (with much difficulty) to give God the control. We learn to seek and go after the passion that God put in our hearts. When God has His way with our lives, we become more fruitful.

Sometimes, though, we get so focused on setting our eyes up; we keep asking and don't seem to get any answers at all. We forget to assess our situation. We forget that since we already gave God the control then He must be actively doing something in our life. We forget to look at where God has brought us and see where we are in God's perspective.

We remember what used to burn in our hearts and remember missed opportunities. We remember how it used to be and remember how we thought our lives would be.

Look at where God has brought you. Look at the changes in our life. This is YOUR NEW NORMAL. Once we begin to accept and have a grateful attitude about our new normal then we also begin to see our life in God's eyes. We begin to see the new opportunities and new possibilities that God has opened up for us as a response to our prayer - Lord, please give us the desires of our heart.

PHP 3:13-14 "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

VIPS (Very Important PS): Remember that part of your new normal is the Holy Spirit. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in your hearts! The same God, who loves you so much that He even knows every hair on our head, also plans to prosper you, give you hope and a future. This same God promises that you will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. You just have to accept and live out this new normal.

Happy Easter

When I moved to the US, I immediately noticed small wooden crosses and flowers decorating the side of some roads. I later learned that these are memorials for those who lost their lives on those spots.

Every Holy Week, we put out a plain white cross on our lawn. On Easter, we turn the cross around to show "He is Risen!".

Today, when we got home from church, we were pleasantly surprised by an anonymous gift of a pot of purple calla lillies by our lawn cross.

Unlike the crosses by the roads which evoke in me a sense of sadness, the empty cross of Jesus Christ evokes hope of a new life. It offers peace that can only come from being right with God. It bids us to understand and receive the grace from the Most High through Jesus Christ that we may forever be reconciled with Him. It beckons us to open our hearts to a love so pure that it was poured out while we were still sinners; A love so bountiful that it is new and fresh every morning; A love so willing that even though our sins are like crimson, they will be like wool; A love so strong that it sent the only one man who can redeem us to the cross - His own Son; A love so beautiful though often so misunderstood; A love so generous but often unrequited.

Christianity is not about laws or punishment. Christianity is about God's demonstration of His love for you and me.

Next time we see a cross, Let us remember to ask God to help us see His love for us.

Jer 29:11-14a "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."

Unanswered Prayers...

Have you ever felt your prayers are not reaching God? Or that maybe they reach Him but He just ignores them... I have.

The Bible says, our confidence in approaching God is that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He does then we also know that we have whatever we ask (1Jn5:14). It also promises that if we believe, we will receive whatever we ask for in prayer (Mt21:22).

So if we know that what we are praying for lines up with God's will, where then is our answer?

Have you ever expected a package by mail - whether you ordered it or someone sent it to you? When you did, did you sit by the window or stand by the door waiting for signs of a Fedex or UPS truck? Or did you run out to the porch every 15 minutes to check if the package already arrived?

No? Me neither. I just knew its coming because they said so.

So why do have more faith in Fedex or UPS than in God? I don't know either. I have so many reasons - none of them valid if I would consider my faith true.

A friend of mine said we don't always know what our prayers prevented. I guess it follows that we don't always know what blessings they send either. Sometimes I don't even recognize God's answer to my prayers until much later.

One thing I know, God is concerned about me - wherever I am, whatever I do. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am the apple of God's eye. AND SO ARE YOU!!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD..." (Jer29:11)

So do I ever feel like God does not hear my prayers? Sure. But "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb11:1) And my peace comes from God.

(Pic fr Anonymous source received via email)

Catch the Presence

I believe God actively moves the hearts of men.

Several people prayed for relief and comfort for the victims of the mudslide in the Philippines a few weeks ago. Shortly after that, the Asian Employees Association at my workplace sponsored a bake sale to raise funds.

Now the destruction of Guinsaugon did not receive as much publicity as the 2005 tsunami and hurricane Katrina. It was almost inconsequential to most of the world. But it's effect on the lives of the people of Leyte was every bit as much as the recent and more publicized calamities - a total loss.

My generous co-workers worked together on the bake sale. I'm bragging on the generosity and efforts the organizers and supporters put into this fundraising activity.

But the one I really want to brag about is God. God sent people! People from HQ and other facilities came to support the effort. Some who couldn't come, sent money! Some loved sweets while others just came for the cause. Some brought homemade and store-bought cakes. Some gave $20/$25 for a slice of cake while some $100 for whole cakes. After only 2 ½ hours, we raised more than $1,000!

God multiplied the Association's (about) $250 worth of cakes more than five times to give us $1,127.21 (net of $250). Plus, we had so many left overs, we were giving them away just so we could close shop. We were giving away so much that some couldn't take all we were giving them. It reminded me of the miracle Jesus did when He fed the 5,000 from five loaves of bread and two pieces of fish. The multitudes of people were fed and there were twelve basketfulls left over.

When Jacob was resting in Bethel on his way to Padanaram (Gen 28:12), he dreamt of a ladder going to heaven. He realized the Lord was in that place and he was not even aware of it. I hope we don't miss this. Just as Jacob caught the presence of God, I hope we catch God's presence in seemingly normal places amidst seemingly ordinary circumstances.

God still answers prayers. People may forget but God hears His people and provides.

Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to pray for comfort for the victims and that God will use this to draw people to Him.

Can you hear me now?

Most, if not everyone I've cared to ask, want to be able to communicate better. I certainly did! Moving to the US, not only did I have to adapt to American colloquial english language, I had to learn the Texan "dialect" (hah! might as well be a dialect!) and understand it spoken with a southern slur (which btw is pronounced "SUthern slur"). It's a good thing they don't talk as fast as NYers do!

Most obvious and well-known peculiarity about this dialect is "y'all". Technically, this refers to a single person because it's plural form is "all y'all". But that would be getting to the formal grammatical rules of the dialect. Conversationally and in business, y'all can really be used to refer to one person or a group of people.

Other rules I had to learn were:
1. I don't have to ask "What?" everytime someone says "I tell you what!!!"
2. "Jump in the shower" is not literal
3. "Fixin' to run to" has nothing to do with repairs or marathons

Now, every article, lecture, or what-have-you on communication tells us how listening is vital to improving this tricky skill. But that's easier said than done - especially for me who seems to have a never-expiring onboard pass to a train of thought that doesn't make any stops. One second Darren and I would be talking about home renovations the next second, my mind would be on why Humpty Dumpty is the worst riddle ever. Geezzz... who even cares about that?!!!

As soon as somebody comes to me to talk, I have to shut out the whole world around me - and that's just so I can decipher the delicate inflections unique to this dialect spoken with a slur. I also practically have to use my hands as blinders to avoid being distracted and give my mind a chance to follow the conversation.

Then I needed someone to listen to me... I could almost hear Yosemite Sam saying, "That'll learn ya!"

I didn't need any advice. I didn't need direction. I just needed someone other than Darren to take some time to sit with me, look me in the eye and just listen...

I realized, I was not the only victim of the runaway train. Looking around, everyone is busy - and rightfully so! So many things to do, so little time. As I quietly waste away in desperation, I found the most unlikely listener in Toronto. (Well, we really emailed.) In between tears I typed about my hesitations (OK fears!) and justifications. In between short meetings and work, I would get back hope, encouragement and prayer.

Then, in all His bounty, God decided to send a second gift. I called someone about a this party jar that could hold a tank of iced tea. And she offered to take time out to just listen - without judgement or agenda, only love. She doesn't even know how long I've prayed for and sought after what she was offering. God just decided one Saturday to send her.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I received a ton of encouragement from wonderful friends. But these two ladies were godsends. And my prayer is the Lord who gives bountifully returns to each of them and their families according to His great riches.

Would I really begin to listen now? So far, it has not been tested (unless I was not paying attention)... But the train seems to run slower. Now taking stops; taking just enough time to see people around me.

With God, nothing is impossible - not even listening.

Luke 18:27